Welcome Back, Fellow Adventurers!
If you’ve been following my Tallinn Bound escapades, buckle up!
In this episode, we finally trade the spreadsheets for suitcases and launch into the heart of travel chaos.
Get ready for upgrades, awkward airport moments, and medieval magic?
Tallinn-novela Recap: Last Time, On…
Need a quick recap on how I got to Tallinn? Click the photo to check out the previous episodes.
Terminal Chuckles
Let’s get this out of the way: I am an unapologetic airport early bird.
My ritual starts at home, before the sun even considers getting up. I wake up with the kind of nervous excitement that only travel day and three alarms can deliver.
For my Tallinn Adventure, I pre-booked my ride to the airport.
Honestly, I do this for every one of my adventures because trusting friends with a 4 a.m. pickup is like asking them for $2 for a vending machine coffee.
Plus, they don’t get my insistence on arriving at the airport at least two hours before BOARDING.
Some call it overkill. I call it my personal insurance policy against chaos, disaster, and surprise sprinting through the terminal.
Once deposited at the terminal, I march straight to the luggage drop-off counter.
Thankfully, my airline offers Fast Bag Drop.
What a great system. I love the fact that this helps me avoid standing behind travelers yelling at the customer service rep for having the “audacity” to refuse waiving the extra baggage fees for suitcases that even a blind person can see are over the weight limit.
With my own bag safely surrendered, I glide through security, smugly brandishing my pre-booked security check appointment confirmation.
Yes, I caught all the stank-eye stares and overheard a few creative obscenities, mostly from folks who clearly didn’t read my travel journal or, you know, Google “how to not be a security-line zombie.”
Travel tip from your friendly neighborhood over-planner: do the research, schedule your appointment, and join me in the land of smug early boarding.
You’ll thank me when you’re sipping that $14 latte at the gate instead of stress-sweating in line.
Nothing beats skipping the line and strutting into the departures hall with precious time to spare. I always make room for an overpriced croissant and tea, a little people-watching, and maybe a celebratory selfie.
In today’s age, if you didn’t post it, did you even travel?
Aisle Be Seeing You
Now, let’s talk boarding. Here’s a question that still boggles my mind:
“Why do airlines call boarding groups with military precision, only to herd us all onto the same bus to the plane? ”
We survived the bus shuffle, boarded the plane, and I executed my patented Overhead Bin Blitz. Success! Even with a flight that was 99.8% full, research and strategic elbow placement prevailed.
And yes, I’m that unapologetic aisle-seat warrior who seizes both armrests, ancient etiquette be damned. Sorry, not sorry, middle seat.
Our flight was delayed by 20 minutes due to a “luggage balancing issue,” which sounds like an extreme sport I’d probably research if I had more time.
The cabin filled with groans and a few stand-up-comedy-level quips, until our flight attendant reminded us it’s better to fix these things on the ground than, say, midair.
Hard to argue with that logic. Even harder to research a better reason to wait.
Tiny Terminal, Big Adventure
Touchdown at Lennart Meri Tallinn Airport. The terminals are small, but the efficiency is mighty, and the welcome committee is mostly the scent of fresh pastry from the arrivals cafe.
My journey through the airport was smooth. Baggage claim, however, was a true masterclass in patience.
Within ten minutes, luggage started appearing, well, unless you were a mere mortal like me.
The football teams and their mountain of duffel bags colonized the conveyor belt with the subtlety of a marching band at 6 a.m.
Apparently, in Tallinn, VIP status means you and your 47 identical bags and 15 steel crates get the red carpet, while the rest of us are treated like peasants waiting to pick up the crumbs.
Yet, the mystery of our earlier “luggage imbalance” was solved: apparently, footballers require more gear than I packed for my entire trip, and I packed for every weather contingency known to humankind.
Forty-five minutes later, the ‘mere mortals’ finally saw our bags emerge. Sheesh.
I grabbed my luggage and headed out to greet my Welcome Pickups driver. To my surprise, he was late.
No worries. He kept in constant communication, and I didn’t have to wait too long. We zipped through the city, bopping our heads to the ’90s pop-rock playing on the radio.
Suite Success
The Tallinn Bound episode, “Planes, Pillows and Plots,” highlighted my painstaking process for choosing a hotel.
Tallinn has hotels galore to choose from, like The Three Sisters Hotel, an historic luxury hotel that once hosted Queen Elizabeth II.
The vast selection was overwhelming. So much so that I had to use the tie-breaker to make the final choice. In this case, loyalty won out, and I selected Hotel Telegraaf, a Marriott hotel.
The name may evoke daydreams about telegram operators in starched uniforms, but step through the doors and it’s all plush and posh.
Aww yes! Class and elegance were on full display from the moment I stepped into the lobby.
The staff, clearly recognizing my status as a jet-lagged international sensation (insert your sarcastic laugh here), upgraded me to a Superior room.
Yes, you read that right: Superior.
The room, a cocoon of comfort, boasted a bathtub (bubble-bath dreams unlocked) and a city view, which, to be fair, was more “urban abstract” than panoramic postcard.
But who needs a perfect view when you have comfy slippers and fluffy robes?
The bed was so cozy I briefly considered skipping sightseeing altogether (but only for a millisecond).
But the real luxury? The pillow menu. I take my pillow selection as seriously as my travel insurance.
And then: the entertainment! Watching The Big Bang Theory dubbed in Estonian is a mesmerizing experience. Trust me, Sheldon’s sarcasm is universal, if slightly more mysterious when you catch the punchlines two seconds late.
There were only two things that kept Hotel Telegraaf from taking the #2 spot on my favorite hotels list.
First, breakfast was €30 a night. My room rate didn’t include breakfast. My wallet and I had a brief heart-to-heart and decided to forage for breakfast elsewhere. I added “search for nearby restaurants that serve breakfast” to my end-of-day list.
Next, the hotel’s restaurant, Restaurant Tchaikovsky, was always busy. Michelin-star glow, endless rave reviews, and absolutely zero chance of landing a table without a reservation booked months in advance.
I managed to snag a table at the Lobby Bar, which offered a slim version of the main restaurant’s menu.
Once Upon a Cobblestone
First impressions of Old Town Tallinn?
My jaw did that cartoon-drop thing as I wandered, phone glued to my hand, on a Photo Safari.
Medieval towers? Check.
Winding alleys that practically dared me to get lost? Double check.
Historic plaques everywhere? Check, and I read every single one.
What? If you don’t recite local trivia at dinner, did you even go?
Tallinn-ted Anticipation
Can you feel the anticipation? My next adventure is scaling new heights, literally.
On deck: an ascent up Tallinn’s TV Tower, where the views promise to dazzle me and increase my selfies capacity.
Oh and the odds of me resisting a corny tower pun are zero. Apologies in advance.
Will I conquer vertigo? Will I discover the secrets of Estonian broadcasting? Will I find a snack at the top?
Tune in to the next episode of Tallinn Bound to find out.
Suspense, spectacle, and maybe even a superhero pose.
Until next time…
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